Halfway through the first year of interfaith seminary I was adrift. I was feeling disconnected from yoga, my most recent spiritual practice of choice, in part due to its seeming requirement for veganism. I was vegetarian, mostly vegan, and had no problem with eating that way. I just resisted the idea that it was a requirement for self-realization. I just couldn’t buy that one could not be enlightened eating meatballs.

I still don’t buy that. That, and many other regulations that imply we must be this or that before the Presence of the Divine or the deity we believe in will show up for us.

Anyway, there I was. No religion. No rules. Lama Surya Das was teaching on Buddhism and religion in general, making the analogy of a tradition, with its dogma, being a raft that we can get on to get somewhere, to cross a river. “You don’t carry the raft with you once you’ve crossed the river!” he said pointedly.

I had dropped the raft — but I had not crossed the river. What does one do then?

How do we nurture our spiritual selves without religion? Is it enough to practice being a good person? To ascribe to “Love is my religion” and “Nature is my church”? Where does the rubber meet the road then?

Here is what I have found from that point to where I am now:

It is helpful to be still.

Meditation, with the body still, allows us to perceive the subtle energies and messages that may be coming through. Maybe God’s booming voice comes to some people. My messages tend to be softer. They may be powerful, and whole ideas or completely written blessings, but I have to shut up and be still to hear them.

The other thing that the stillness does is turns up the dimmer switch that’s somewhere attached to my energy field. There is a vibration that I sense, that grows warmer and more all-encompassing as a sit and allow it. So much so that I can maintain my awareness of it during everyday activities. I am aware of it now as I write this. My connection to it overrides my mind’s automatic, judgmental reaction to things. Some may call it the Peace That Passeth All Understanding.

Looking at ourselves matters.

There is freedom in taking responsibility for one’s experience — meaning that our reaction to what is happening in any moment is under our control and coloring that experience. And also that Life, in her kindness, is mirroring to us what we are thinking and believing at a given time. So to see our situation as a reflection of that is fodder for growth.

I care what people think of me. It’s more information. I can sort through it and see if there is anything I can work on to be more loving. That’s where the road is in respect to “Love is my religion”. The rubber meets it when I am able to look at myself first and not something or someone else as the problem.

This is where I let veganism/vegetarianism in too. I believe it to be loving to the Earth and those beings to not be a meat eater. Am I perfect at it? No. I’m still looking at myself and learning.

Willingness opens the door.

Ask an alcoholic who hit “bottom” — they will tell you that spirit flows into a willing heart. Our desperate human cries are answered. We have free will. Angels will come when called but not uninvited.

I have not been in that desperate of a situation, but I have consciously surrendered. I have experienced the bliss of surrender in a yoga pose, while writing, on a meditation cushion and floating in the ocean. I have been carried by what I call Spirit, to places and people that seemed destined to help me on my path, when I have asked to be shown the way.

We naturally crave community for a reason.

Having a religion with a congregation, a coven, or a tribe has the benefit of amplifying our intentions, when they’re good ones. We know the power of group belief and energy can be harnessed for malintent as well. It’s that strong.

I incorporate spiritual practice with a group in my life by creating these opportunities  — yoga and meditation classes, spiritual celebration services. I tap this experience for those gathered at weddings that I officiate, with just a moment to guide everyone into the present together as we begin. I also love sitting with my teachers and in the presence of healers, surrounded by fellow spiritual journeyers.

Have I crossed the river? I’m not sure. I’m somewhere new though. Somewhere that does not feel adrift. Somewhere solid, where the touch of Spirit feels ever present in my days and available to guide me when I’m willing.