This is a big week for me. The Widen the Circle Summit! Something I conceived of almost a year ago – an online spiritual summit to benefit a great cause, to help starving babies, to add to the love in the world. I had heard of and participated in many online summits that were free – basically to advertise and add to the hosts’ email list – and I thought ‘why can’t people make a donation to some great organization to be part of a summit, to hear wise and loving teachers.’

And so it is. It’s happening this week. You can donate and get access anytime. The videos and audios will be up until the end of the month so you haven’t missed anything yet.

Let me tell you what else happened. One of the last interviews I had scheduled was with master yoga teacher, author, and one of my heroes, Rolf Gates. It was 2 weeks ago. It took months of emails between his wife and I to fit me into his schedule. I was thrilled! He said right away that we had to get to it. His time was limited. Ok, I was ready! And we had an amazing talk. He shared many insights. We got off the Skype call and I knew instantly that I hadn’t recorded it. I’m still pretty embarrassed about it. You can see the video that I made of myself the next day, at the end of this post.

Also, I inadvertantly angered someone on Facebook. I made an Event on FB of the Summit, to get the word out more, reach my former seminary classmates, raise more money for The Girl Effect. Well, a lovely friend must have invited her friends. One of those friends was not interested and must have had all of the postings from the event being pushed to her email (you can turn that off BTW – I did!). She yelled at me in a post within the Summit event page. I was sort of traumatized.

AND I spent the first day of the Summit mostly trying to avoid my little daughter, ignoring the dishes and the laundry, and wishing I had my own apartment to get all of the work done and present the Summit professionally. I feel guilty… and torn. Perhaps I should just surrender to having a small child and a husband who works hard and be an amazing Stay-At-Home-Mom… although I want to give and do and teach. It seems too hard to do both sometimes. Maybe I could be great at one rather than feeling like I’m failing at both.

During all of this I am listening to the recorded interviews again as I ready them for the Summit. I am on the phone and online with spiritual teachers daily. I hear what I need when I need it…

in Navjit Kandola‘s words, encouraging me to back myself, to let go of limiting beliefs, to question the mind stuff and be with the present moment whatever it’s bringing,

in Marie Manuchehri‘s advice to stop, drop into my body and feel throughout the day,

in August Gold‘s reminder to breathe consciously 5 or 6 times a day,

in my beloved teacher David Wallace‘s reminder of the beauty in everyday existence and the profound gratitude we can live with daily.

And I remember the girls who I want to support to grow up to be women whose babies aren’t starving. So I’m Ok. However this turns out, whomever partakes in the Summit, however my mind judges the results, whatever waves of emotion roll in and out… I am listening and learning. It’s perfect, really.