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I could cry.
I mean, I am a softy in general and can cry at a commercial, a cartoon or a sweet comment from my toddler any day but today… I could cry at… well, nothing.
Nothing? That can’t be true. I just don’t know exactly what IT is. My daughter had it last night. She was crying at bedtime. I asked her why she was crying. She said “I don’t know.”
Today I have it. And I’m Ok with it. There is no need to find the story behind the emotion, like my mind wants to do. It can just be an experience that I am having in the moment. I tell my yoga students that, when tears come in yoga class. They are having an experience. They don’t need the story attached to it. I don’t need to rescue them. They don’t need to stop.
That being said, I did allow my mind to investigate. Let’s see… this is the first week of my husband working 250 miles away. I’m getting ready to move away from my MoonGirls. I didn’t sleep well last night. All possible contributing factors, no?
I also started wondering what my ankles were trying to tell me. Stay with me here. Have you ever seen “The List” in Louise Hay’s book You Can Heal Your Life ? It’s a list of illnesses and issues with different parts of the body and the probable emotional causes for each of them. She then gives an affirmation or new thought to counter the old one. I refer to it when I notice a pattern or recurring issue in my body. Lately, it’s my ankles. They got stung by a wasp, twisted and scraped, scabbed and bruised, patched with dry skin… Frankly, they’re a mess. Too bad it’s not boot season yet!
Here is what The List says regarding ankles:
“Inflexibility and guilt. Ankles represent the ability to receive pleasure.”I could cry, again. Here’s why. Honestly, I am not where I want to be over a year after leaving my yoga centers to my business partner and venturing off on my own. I am not contributing to our household financially as I would like to. And I feel bad about that. My teacher, Henry Grayson, says that guilt is the quickest emotion to manifest in the body as an issue. It makes sense. We need to punish ourselves to right the balance if we feel guilty about something.
So what now?
I meditate.
I pray.
I listen and keep offering what I have to give, what I know to be true, what Spirit inspires me to put out in the world.
I have a new thought pattern from Louise Hay:
“I deserve to rejoice in life. I accept all the pleasures life has to offer.”
And I cry.
Dear Lisa,
I honor your tears!! May you continue to rejoice in life and accept ALL the pleasure life has to offer – and treat yourself kindly and gently along the way!
Love and a big HUG, Heidi
Thanks Heidi!
I can feel the wasp sting–and that is enough for me to cry about for at least a week!!
Plus leaving your Moongirls and packing, staging, moving also stings.
“This too shall pass” comes to mind as IT always does.
My own guilt for not making a financial contribution to our family landed me a job at my local grocery store– I would NOT recommend this as your remedy!
However– it DOES give me a chance to smile, at many people every day and I once in a while I even get a compliment for doing so!
Happiness, Love & Peace.
Nice, Jack. xo
Tears. Change does a number on us. Tears don’t have to about ‘sad’. They can be about change. You have a lot of change going on…that moves body, mind and soul.
Tears. I’m an expert these past months crying so hard; missing my grandchildren to where my heart feels like it is broken glass.
I thought you – and others – could relate, Marcia. Love.
Dear Lisa,
Every day I wake up and your work is part of my morning ritual. You’ve made my daily gratitude list twice (even though I don’t allow repeats, I make an exception for you ). I read your wisdom and prayers and I marvel that you are putting this amazing work into the world. What a gift you offer. I have no pearls of wisdom for you (sorry!)…just this…thank you for being so brave to offer what you have to the world.
Sending you love from the Sweltering Lunas 🙂
That means so much, Amanda. Thank you for taking the time to say so. Love.
Dear Daughter in Love:
You contribute to your family in so many ways! You are a loving wife, you are such a loving, caring, creative mother! Right there are the two biggest contributions anyone could make. You are LOVE….You are WISDOM…..You are LIGHT…..You are Kindness…..I am so very proud of you and I am so grateful John found you and you found John and your love created Cami….Yeah….I know….you are crying again, right??????? Me too!!!!
Babcia
Yes, crying. John just got home too… and cried almost as soon as he saw Cami. <3
Dear Sister
I wish somehow we could live next door to one another. So that when shit arrives, and it always does, we could support one another. I wish my son was best friends w your daughter. I wish that we could drink green tea mates every morning. I wish I could hold your pain, like you held mine; like sisters do.
Much love
Jill
Crying… again. Thanks Sister. Love you.
i know what you mean about crying at just about anything, i made a big change in my life, i moved only to come face to face with my past which now has caused a big hole in my heart and just always brings me to tears now understanding what i missed out in all these years so every little thing brings me to tears…..how do i get that to stop? i landed a sweet little job and i thought that satisfaction would bring me some joy it only brought me to tears more……i try to give myself answers to my crying but i get none, i just miss something and don’t know what
Oh Carmen, let the tears flow until there are done flowing. I wish you a connection to the peace that is available beyond our ideas of what’s right and wrong, and what “should be” or “shouldn’t have been”. When I get present everything is Ok in this moment.
i am trying to live in the moment and in the present but the lies that were told to me years ago have come to light and those lies changed my present and my future and now i see it and i can actually touch these changes and they were not for the best they were hurtful lies that took so much away from my life, maybe that is what i am missing…i keep praying for peace in my soul….thank you lisa!!