A friend recently expressed to me her concern about the upcoming holidays. She could see in her crystal ball the crazy-makings of the family addict, and the ensuing arguments and heartbreak. Then there’s the partner’s ex; a whole other kind of crazy-maker, probably diagnosable as histrionic or narcissistic, possibly borderline personality, but that’s neither here nor there. My friend said she felt like a pregnant mom, awaiting with dread the pain of the labor which was now unavoidable… unstoppable.
“Hmm”, I said. “I didn’t feel that way when I was pregnant. I was kind of like… ‘This will be cool. I wonder how I’ll do.’ ”
“Oh yeah”, my enlightened friend said. “Like Byron Katie… ‘I look forward to…’ ” We LOVE Byron Katie! In her “Work” one of the things you do is write down what you don’t ever want to happen again, and then in one of her famous “turn-arounds” you put “I look forward to” in front of it instead. I look forward to it! I look forward to the crazy-makers coming, and seeing how I do. I look forward to a chance to react differently. I look forward to seeing what I’m really made of. I look forward to being forced to find my center and hold on to it.
I get it. Family, stress, trying to be perfect…they bring up our stuff. But they bring it up TO BE HEALED. Halleluyeer!, as Oprah would say. (There’s a link, in case you never heard of her. LOL. I crack myself up at 3 a.m.) So, we can thank those people, the situation, the time of year, for THAT. Lots of smart clients call me up again and make appointments for Mind-Body Healing this time of year. Smart new clients call me too! If you’re ready, it doesn’t have to be me but call someone, or call on your personal god, or try The Work… SOMETHING to help you find a new way, to step up the love and grace with which you handle holidays… and life.
Seize the opportunity.
Bask in the WONDER.
I wonder how I’ll act when a baby’s head is coming out of my “vajayjay” (that Oprah again).
I wonder what it will be like to be around that family member who___________________ (fill in the blank…e.g. puts me down, molested me, drinks too much, won’t shut up).
I wonder if I should drive separately so I can leave whenever I want to.
I wonder where I got this idea that I have to make this OK for everyone. And I wonder what it would be like to let that go.
I wonder why I don’t listen to myself and what it would be like if I did this year.
I wonder what I can do for myself to make this holiday season a joy… for me.
I wonder what it would be like to forgive them… and myself.
I love this! I’ve always been so interested in Byron Katie but never knew what “The Work” was about……I may look into it now!
Oh Thanks for reading Ruth! Lori Portka gifted me The Work IPhone app, so now it’s in the palm of my hand. 🙂
Lis, I LOVE love love love this post. SO true and funny. You’re funny at 3 am. xoxo
Thanks! I really like it too. I don’t feel like I wrote it. 😀
Plus, I love the pic that goes with it. Perfect!
This post is beautiful and thought provoking. And I can’t wait to check out the work! Thanks for sharing your 3am creativity and may your holidays be joyful 🙂
Thank you Lisa. That means alot to me for you to read and comment. Happiest holidays to you!
I just read about the Work last week and am still absorbing it. I wonder how awesome I’ll be at _____ just a very powerful statement and change of thought pattern to keep in mind day in and day out, not just at this time of the year. Thank you. Really love this post and it fits with everything I’m going through these days …. oh, these days!
So glad it resonated for you Shawn. Happy and wonder-filled holidays to you! Love.